Death and Life

We found that proper preparation can ease the pain of losing a spouse. We've identified the "Not Top Ten" ways to prepare for widowhood, highlighting the importance of planning for all aspects of life and death. Our resource, Prepare Your Affairs, focuses on the Five Pillars of Preparation—financial, legal, self-care, mental/emotional/spiritual, and practical. Early planning can provide clarity and peace of mind, making the grieving process more bearable.

In my work with family caregivers, I use the "externalizing the problem" technique from narrative therapy, which involves seeing the issue as separate from the individual. For example, Bob, who had late-stage dementia, caused frustration when he spread feces on the wall. By helping his wife see that dementia—not Bob—was responsible, her perspective softened, allowing her to approach caregiving with greater compassion and seek additional support. This technique empowers caregivers to handle challenges more effectively and nurture a compassionate outlook.

Written by Su Park It was a couple of days before Christmas in 2019.

Dad called to tell me that Mom had been diagnosed with cancer.

My heart sank and fear slowly enveloped my body as I processed what I was hearing.

Fast forward to today, Mom passed away in December 2019.

From diagnosis to her final day, she survived for 4 years.

I often think about the things left unsaid and the memories unshared.