How My Experience with Loss Inspired Me to Help Others Die Well

BY SU PARK

It was a couple of days before Christmas in 2019.

Dad called to tell me that Mom had been diagnosed with cancer.

My heart sank and fear slowly enveloped my body as I processed what I was hearing.

Fast forward to today, Mom passed away in December 2019.

From diagnosis to her final day, she survived for 4 years.

During that time, she focused all her energy on getting better, while we focused ours on supporting her.

Because Mom's diagnosis was such a major life event, I tried to keep other parts of my life as steady as possible.

This meant Mom and I continued to share our daily lives, just like we used to.

But with only occasional updates on her treatments.

It never occurred to me that I should…

• Take the time to learn more about this person called 'Mom'
• Seek out and listen to her life wisdom
• Ask about her cherished memories

Unfortunately, I missed that chance.

We weren't used to having these meaningful conversations early on.

Which made it extremely difficult to start them near the end.

When I realized her time was running out, the reality became overwhelming.

Bringing up these deep conversations felt like I was preparing for her death—and, in a way, betraying each other.

Maybe Mom felt the same—she never got to share her final wishes or tell me how much she loved me one last time.

I often think about the things left unsaid and the memories unshared.

Mom’s passing drove me to help people like Mom die well.

Specifically, I’m supporting terminally ill patients with children in having a better end-of-life experience.

DieWell is a digital time capsule that guides parents to leave meaningful messages for their children.

Providing a space for patients to express their thoughts, share memories, and offer support to their children at the most relevant moments.

This allows their children to grow up knowing their parents and build a strong foundation.

So when their time comes, they can be assured that their words will continue to nurture and support their children as they grow.

So they can find peace in knowing they've fulfilled part of their role as a parent.

So they can die well.