Why is it So Hard to Tell Me What I Already Know; I’m Dying

“Frank” was pissed off when I met him. He wasn’t afraid to talk about it, either. He was upset that he felt like everyone was trying to protect him from the fact that he was dying. “I know damn well that I’m dying.” He told me that he thought the doctors and other medical professionals that he encountered were “cowards” for not being direct with him.

I acknowledged that he was in fact dying. That was why he was on hospice. He shared that even when he was referred to hospice, still no one had said clearly to him that he was dying. To him, it felt like everyone was keeping a secret, a secret that everyone knew, including him, but no one would discuss.

Finally, we were discussing the secret. The fact that he was dying came out of the darkness and became the conversation.

Frank died still a little angry. He lived his life angry and died angry, even with all of the support he was willing to accept. But, we talked about the fact that he was dying, and for that, we were both grateful.

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